I cried myself to sleep last night. My heart was hurting, once again. I feel sad, angry, frustrated, discouraged, tired...
It's been an emotional cycle for the past few months now.
Getting pregnant with my son wasn't planned - it just happened. You'd think the same would happen when you're actually trying for a second one.
It's been a routine now - tracking my period, checking my ovulation, making note of how I'm feeling emotionally and physically. I find myself thinking, "Oh, was that pain a pregnancy symptom?" No, it wasn't.
When it doesn't happen, I'm reading blogs about other women who are also trying to conceive. It's funny, I've heard stories about people trying for months or years, but I never thought it would be this hard. I guess we all want to think positive and believe it will happen fast.
It's pretty discouraging when you feel like you're doing everything you're supposed to do and then when it's that time, it's not the result you were hoping and working so hard for.
People have said...
"Don't stress or think about it too much."
"It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Maybe it'll happen when you stop trying."
"Keep trying every day!"
Easier said than done, right?
Last night, I did feel like I wanted to stop trying. But that thought instantly made me sad - Why stop when you want something so bad?