Thursday, July 28, 2011

three in a bed??

"My biggest fear is that my son will sleep in the bed with us forever!"

These are the words my cousin said last night about her son. He's 9 months old and has never taken to sleeping in the crib so he sleeps with her and the hubby. She loves it and honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I understand where she's coming from, because I am guilty of the situation myself. 

Yes, my 2-year old son sleeps with us.
Sometimes in the middle...
Sometimes on the side of the wall where the bed lies against...
Sometimes on top of us...
Sometimes with his whole body on top of all the pillows.

Before I had my son and before I was even pregnant I always told myself, "My child will never sleep in the bed!" Never say never, right?? Yeah that bit me in the butt really hard.

My son has been in the bed with us since he was 9 months old. Up until that point, he was sleeping in his crib. No problems, no waking up in the middle of the was a breeze. Then he got sick. It was the most sick he'd ever been. I couldn't bear to let him sleep all by himself. He was miserable and not my usually happy son. He wanted Mommy and I wanted to cuddle him and make him feel better. So I brought him in the bed with us. I told myself, "It's only for a few days...just until he gets better."

Sure enough, he was better after several days. Okay baby boy, back into your crib! Sounds easy, right? No way...little man had plans of his own. He woke up in the middle of the night, crying his little eyes out. We'd put him back to sleep and lay him back into his crib, only to wake up to him crying again after 30 minutes or so. This routine went on for a few days before we decided to just bring him in the bed with us. The cry-it-out method didn't work for us and we weren't about to try it again. With early mornings and work days, the whole process of him waking up in the middle of the night was just exhausting. 

One thing I've learned with motherhood is that it's very unpredictable. I wouldn't have predicted that my son would be sleeping in the same bed as us, even at his age. It's worked out fine for us. We honestly love sleeping with our son in the bed. Although it has gotten in the way of "cuddle time" with each other, I believe it's a wonderful bonding time. How can you not love cuddling with your whole family? With him growing so fast, it has gotten very cramped in the bed so we're going to need to transition him very soon. We've introduced the idea of getting him his own bed and surprisingly, he's taken in the idea. 

"I want a Thomas Bed!"

Getting him out of our bed isn't going to be an easy task, but we're up for the challenge. I know everyone has their own opinion about co-sleeping with a baby, or in my case, a toddler. I know people who've done it with their children and their kids are perfectly fine in their own beds now. I've even had people say "Oh you shouldn't do that...they'll NEVER leave your bed."

Psh! Never say never, right? ;)


  1. I think whatever works for a family is the right thing. I loved co-sleeping at times...then other times I've been done.

    That Thomas the Train bed is pretty cool. Your co-sleeping days may be short-lived. :)

  2. New follower here from the Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop. I let my children sleep with me off and on. I know that some nights you are so tired and the only way you can quickly get to sleep is with them in your bed. Sometimes it seems they will never leave but those moments of cuddles and love are so priceless. Each child is different and they need to feel loved and safe and secure. Some sleep with you longer than others but they all eventually are able to sleep through the night in their own bed. Keep trying and one day you will look at them and think oh how I miss those days when we cuddled up together.
    Please stop by my blog, Saving Your Green
    sometime for a follow back or just a visit!

  3. My son has been sleeping with us since he's 8 months old & it was the same for us - he slept fine in his crib before (he would wake up for milk but still sleep in his crib) but after he wouldn't even sleep in it after getting a feel of our bed. He's about to be 3 & he has his own bed & he's picked out his own sheets & everything promising to go to his own bed & he STILL hasn't! We want him out by now lol but Idk what to do anymore - I've tried everything....x_x

  4. Not gonna happen in my house. I had my kids in their rooms by 5 months old. I won't sleep a wink if someone is touching me at night. We have a California King and it's not big enough for me and my hubby. I'm just a really light sleeper. I wake up every time he moves. But I don't think there is anything wrong with co-sleeping - if you can actually get some sleep!

  5. We let our toddler cuddle with us at night because it's the only time that we're ever all together as a family, but we always place her back in the crib, usually after she's asleep. It works out great and I've always been worried that she'd suffocate if she slept with us.

  6. New follower here from the Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop! Feel free to check out my new blog:

    My son is 4 months, and his crib is still in my bedroom. 99% of the time, he sleeps through the night perfectly fine in his crib. On a rare occasion, he'll wake up around 4 am and the only thing to get him back to sleep is to clear the bed and let him lay next to me. I usually am able to put him back in his crib, but sometimes I fall asleep myself :P I really don't want him to get used to sleeping in my bed.

  7. Aww! Good luck! I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine.
    Sweet Tea Serendipity

  8. Totally know where you are coming from. We haev a 5/4 and 2 year old and we actually end up with all 5 of us in our "little" queen size bed and all 3 of my kids haev gone through a faze of this but they all got it out of them or we forced it out. And it does take work. We even at one point slept in there beds but you will find something that works sooner or later!

    Thanks for the follow and followed back =)

  9. Newest follower from the blog hop! Please follow me back :)

  10. Love it! My kids are 15, 7 , and 5, and they all three spent a lot of time in our bed. Enjoy it while you can! They're only little for so long :)

    Thanks for stopping by Magical Mouse Schoolhouse. I am following you too!

  11. We've gone through this, too. I think the Thomas bed is a good idea. I don't see anything wrong with having your child sleep with you. It promotes such a bonding, I think. I knew a lady once who said she always allowed her children to come into her room and sleep in her bed whenever they wanted to and they remained extremely close even into the teenage years. I say, ENJOY it while you have it! :)

  12. I think it's great to cozy up. Kids grow up way too fast so enjoy it while they are still willing to be cuddled LOL.

  13. Oops, forgot to mention thanks for the follow. Following you back on GFC now. Hope you have a great weekend :)

  14. I think time change things. As your son grows older he will want to be on his own more and more. So enjoy this time with him.
    I am a new follower MBC I hope you will follow me back :)

  15. My 2 1/2 daughter sleeps with us every since we got rid of her crib. I love it :) The first two years flew by so fast. In a couple more she'll have friends and a life at school. I'm hanging on as long as I can :)

    The Twerp and I

  16. thank you ladies for sharing your thoughts and stories on this subject. feels good to know that i'm not alone! :)

  17. All of my kiddos have slept in our bed at one point or another. I have been trying to keep my 8 month old in his crib but I still bring him in bed with us when he wakes up fussing. I rather have a peaceful sleep then waking up to a crying baby. Plus he is our last so I want to snuggle with him as long as I can. :)

    Thanks for following me. I am following you now.

  18. my son sleeps in my bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night. he's 10 months old now. i just read a study that was posted stating that letting your child sleep in your bed has no ill effects. maybe difficult getting him not to, but nothing psychological.

  19. I couldn't do the CIO method either. I didn't even attempt. It would break my heart.

    I think the only reason we survived Nathan coming home from the hospital and waking is because it's only every 2 hours. I was very close to letting him sleep with me because my hubby works nights but I also wanted the bed to myself. LOL I had to be strong. As you read on my blog, he is starting to get better.

    And that Thomas bed is so adorable.

  20. Thank you for talking about this sadly taboo topic! I proudly co-sleep with my toddler, starting at 6 months. He sleeps great, we sleep great, it's a win-win situation. I tired of it being a big secret and people thinking it's not right, or not safe, or any of the other myths out there. The truth is in most cultures the families always sleep together. It is stranger to have you baby in a different room, down the hall, all by themselves for up to 12 hours in the dark. That's just my opinion :) Every family is different, and everyone needs to do what works best for them and not worry about what everyone else is doing!
    Sarah @ made in usa challenge

  21. I strongly think that you have to do what's right for you on this subject.

    My oldest got a staph infection in his neck when he was 7 months and my youngest got meningitis when he was 2 months. I was in the hospital with them every night they were in there. Then when it was time to go home it was tough! They were still recovering and they were used to us being with them in the same room at the hospital.

    I so would have caved! My husband wanted nothing to do with it though. I had to deal with the crying. Breastfeeding at the time was a soother. It was really hard.

  22. Loved reading this post! Visiting from Calle Mami's December Blog Hop and will be returning GFC follower. :)
    I agree with what so many other commenters need to do what is best for YOUR family...there are books that say it is the BEST way and other experts who say it is the WORST way...never feel guilty if everyone in your family is on board. I think, however, that the Thomas bed may do the trick. :)
    Hope you will have a chance to visit my parenting blog: and my author website:

  23. I can fully understand. I agree do what is best for you. That is what we did and it worked for us. I am following from Calle Mami December Blog Hop. Please feel free to follow me back at:

    My Twitter is:!/DMochaTraveler